God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 14

Darshan 25 October 1976

Deva Nisarga.... Nisarga means to be natural, to be spontaneous, to be simple and poor. And blessed are the poor - only they shall inherit the kingdom of God. Only the poor are rich. This inner poverty is really an inner richness. When you simply move with nature, by and by you disappear.

You are so poor that even you are not there - the poverty is total. When the poverty is total, there is nothing to possess and nobody to possess it. That's what Jesus means when he says 'poor in spirit'. A man can be poor but may not be poor in spirit. He may not have anything to claim as his own but at least he has his ego. He may not have possessions but he has the possessor.

The inner poverty, the poor in spirit, means that even the possessor is gone - no possessions, no possessor. Then you cannot be against nature because there is nobody to be against Then nature simply flows through you. You become like a, cloud: wherever the winds take it, it goes. It has no idea of its own. It has no destiny, no private goal. It has not planned any journey, so wherever it lands it is beautiful, because there is never any frustration. Frustration comes out of a private goal.

Whenever you come across a man who is frustrated, it simply shows that he has a private goal against the universe. Naturally he is frustrated. When you move with the universe, there is no frustration; there is tremendous fulfillment. Each moment is joy because everything is going right Nothing can go wrong because whatsoever is happening is how it should happen.

That is the meaning of nisarga. It is one of the most beautiful terms in Sanskrit. And I would like you to disappear completely, to die completely. And it is possible - that's why I am giving you this name.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 13

Darshan 24 October 1976

[A newly arrived sannyasin says: I have been able to start witnessing myself. I don't know if it's really witnessing but it feels as if it's something like that.] Very good! That's the only barrier - the subtle ego. It comes everywhere and it is so subtle that unless you are very very aware of it, it will go on deceiving you. It can take many garbs. It can play many games; it is very inventive. It can even become humbleness, it can become simplicity, it can become sannyas. So only watchfulness is the key.

A few things to be remembered: don't condemn it, otherwise your watchfulness will be corrupted.

Once you condemn a thing you have become afraid of it. Once you have condemned a thing you have accepted the power that the thing has over you. You are already in a defensive mood, and when you are defensive, your defeat is certain. When you condemn a thing, you have already accepted that it exists. That very acceptance gives it life energy. Because the ego is not a thing; it is not substantial. It is just a shadow. In fact it does not exist. It exists only like a shadow - it has no matter in it.

But if you become afraid of your shadow and you start running, the shadow will follow you. Your mind makes it run faster - only then can you defeat the shadow; otherwise it is running very fast with you. But that is not the way: by running faster you can never win. The shadow is your shadow, so wherever you are it is there. The mind can say to you, 'Fight with it. Take a sword and cut it into pieces.' You can only cut something which is - you cannot cut something which is not. Absence cannot be cut, only presence. So if you try to cut it, again your energy will be dissipated and by and by you will start feeling that it is hopeless, you cannot win; you are doomed.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 12

Darshan 23 October 1976

[A sannyasin with a small child says that her husband has sent her away. He loves her but cannot live with her any more: He wants his silence, and the child and I are too much of a disturbance, I think.] No, no, those are simply excuses. If you love, you accept everything that comes out of it. You love the child and you love the child's crying too; it is no more distracting. Love makes everything acceptable. But if love is missing, everything is a problem. If you can love a woman, she can never hinder you on the path of spirituality because love is always a good help and spirituality is not at all opposed to love. He must have some wrong notions in his mind.

[She says: I really feel that I cannot love as deeply as it should be. Maybe I'm afraid of love - I don't know.] That 'should' is poisoning your love. You think you don't love as you should love. That 'should' is a very poisoning thing. Never have any 'should' because that becomes a condemnation.

When you have some ideal of how love should be, if you fall short of it.... And you will always fall short of the ideal because the ideal is just utopia, imagination; it has nothing to do with reality. In fact the ideal is always unreal - that's why it is ideal. It does not happen in the nature of things. It is a wish, a hope, but it is never fulfilled. And once you have a certain idea that it should be like that, you will always feel as if you are falling short and there will always be a condemnation arising and self-hatred. Then you are in a conflict.

The conflict is not created by the way you love him. You love him the way you can. The conflict arises out of a should. Drop that should completely.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 11

Darshan 22 October 1976

[A sannyasin says he has always had trouble with relationships, including the present one with his girlfriend.] Mm, mm. A relationship is always a problem because the other becomes the mirror and the presence of the other help you to see your own face in many ways. And the same happens to the other - you become the mirror. Nobody wants to know his real face. That's why down the centuries people have been escaping to the monastery. These are the cowards! They are avoiding relationship, because in a relationship they are reflected as they are. Alone, they can think of themselves whatsoever they want to think; they can create any image about themselves. So the first problem with relationship is that relationship reflects you and you reflect the other person. And your totality comes up - you are not just the surface.

The deeper you get involved in your relationship, the deeper feelings it will bring up. If you are really into a relationship it will shatter you. All your images will be shattered. All your faces will be tom. All your masks will start dropping. And whenever this happens the person starts to take revenge on the other. That's why [your girlfriend] goes on saying no. Behind her no there is yes. In fact, she wants to say yes - that's why she says no - but she is afraid of her own totality.

People have cleared a little ground of their being and they try to live comfortably there. Mm? - the whole is like a vast canvas. They don't even want to remember. And whenever you are in love your deepest feeling is stirred. With that feeling all other feelings are stirred. Love is almost like a backbone to the feeling body. If your backbone is taken out you will be spineless . . . just a heap, a blob. Your spine holds you together. Exactly in the same way the feeling body is held together by the spine of love. If you are not in love you can control your anger very easily. In fact, if you are not in love at all there will not be any opportunities to be angry. You can control your sadness very easily if you are not in love. You can manage your life very conveniently; that's what is being done in monasteries.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 10

Darshan 21 October 1976

Anand means bliss and shunyam means emptiness, nothingness, nobodyness. And that's what bliss is. When you are empty, only then are you full - never before it. When you are not, only then you are - never before it. Your very absence is the door to the presence of God One has to annihilate oneself utterly; nothing less can help. One has to disappear. And once you start moving inwards, you start disappearing, because whatsoever you are is only the surface, the circumference.

Once you start moving towards the centre, the circumference goes on disappearing. Then the whole universe is your circumference. Either the whole is your circumference or there is no circumference.

This is the meaning of the word shunyam. Literally it means the zero. The concept of zero was discovered in India. Even the mathematical zero is an indian concept, and the whole of mathematics has evolved out of the concept of zero. Without the concept of zero, mathematics cannot exist And all the basic digits - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine - are also indian. Even the terms are sanskrit terms. But everything, the whole of mathematics, can spread if there is zero. If there is no zero you are stuck at nine; then you cannot move ahead.

With ten you start repeating again - one with zero. Zero itself is the basic source. Mathematics starts in zero and ends in zero. Zero is the beginning and zero is the end, and just in between is the whole play.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 09

Darshan 20 October 1976

[A therapist, recently arrived back from the States, was at darshan tonight Osho suggested he begin to plan a new group, commencing with just a vague idea of what he wanted... ] .... There is no need to have a very fixed notion about it; just a hypothetical idea... just the direction, the line - like a vision - and then start working. It will start getting more and more solid and dear and defined. After two, three groups it will have arrived. Then you also will be surprised - because there are two different ways of working....

One is always to plan everything beforehand. Another is just to have a vague notion and to move into the act and let the activity itself determine the course. Both are totally different. The first is very efficient, but dead. The second is not so efficient, but very alive. And whenever there is a choice between efficiency and life, always choose life, because a machine can be efficient, so efficiency is not a very great value. In fact the machine is more efficient than man. Scientists go on thinking that they are going to make man too, but as I see it they can never make man because they cannot make such an inefficient machine - that's impossible! That's the beauty of man.

So if you plan everything from the beginning you don't allow the group to grow as an organic phenomenon. You have a fixed notion - you follow your notion. You don't give freedom - you impose the structure. I'm not saying that there should be no structure, because then you start moving in all directions. Then you are spread too thin.

God Is Not For Sale (A Darshan Diary) - 08

Darshan 19 October 1976

Anand means bliss and subhan means well-aware - awareness of bliss. That you have to develop.

Ordinarily we are more aware of misery. We are more aware of pain, more aware if something goes wrong, more aware of illness, disease, less aware of health, well-being. That creates much trouble, because if you are too much aware of pain you help pain to be there, you feed it. Awareness is food, and if you are too much aware of pain pur whole vision of. We is upside down. You think life is not worthwhile... oceans of misery, and only here and there an island of bliss. So it doesn't make much sense whether it is there or not It is so rare that it can be counted out; it need not be counted in.

It is as if somebody goes to a rosebush and counts the thorns - and there are many. Then one starts disbelieving the rose. How is the flower possible amidst so many thorns? The flower seems to be an impossibility, an improbability. It cannot happen the way things are. And if you start disbelieving the flower, the flower disappears from your vision, because only that which is believed appears in your vision.

Once you trust something, you are available to it. Once you distrust you become unavailable, closed.

Then your mind does not allow it into your being. Even if you see it, you don't see it And even if it is there, it looks unreal. The thorns become too real and the flower becomes too unreal. Then you start expecting thorns because you know that they are there... and when you expect, you invite.