Bliss Beyond All Duality
The first question
Question 1:
OSHO, WHAT IS THE TOTALITY OF MYSELF? WHY DO I GO ON AVOIDING IT?
Vasumati,
THE TOTALITY OF YOURSELF has nothing to do with you. It is not your totality or my totality; totality is one - in which we all disappear. That is the fear. You can remain only if you are partial, if you are only a part. The moment you want to be the total, you will have to commit a kind of suicide, a spiritual suicide. You will have to disappear.
If the dewdrop wants to be the ocean, the only possible way is to disappear into the ocean, to die as a dewdrop. The moment a dewdrop dies as a dewdrop, it becomes the ocean. That creates fear.
People talk about God, but nobody wants to lose himself. Hence the talk of God remains impotent, meaningless. People worship God but they keep a distance. They go the temples, but really they never go - because they go on clinging to their idea of themselves.
There are two ways to be. One is as an ego, separate from the total - which is illusory because there is no way to be really separate. You can only believe that you are separate; deep down you remain one with the whole. Hence all that you create around the idea of the ego remains illusory. In the East we call it MAYA: MAYA means a world of futile dreams.








